The big idea - persuade the reader that the driver was TOTALLY at fault and that we should feel sorry for the man and his family
why?????
everything is going wrong
people don't take any care in their work
the son had the same kind of job and he ALWAYS FINISHED HIS WORK, even if his shift was over
this is unacceptable!!!
Examples:
para 1
callous paramedic
- so that he could end his shift
insisting that he was already 15 minutes late clocking off
para 2
meant precious minutes that could have been vital in saving his patient's life were lost.
even failed to notify his replacement
finally arrived at hospital 35 minutes after
it was too late
father of four, died of a heart attack
para 3
facing the sack.
been suspended and could be dismissed if found guilty of gross misconduct
independent investigation has since been launched into the incident
para 4
youngest son,
he was not aware of the delay
. 'What's more important: your shift or a person who is dying?
you don't worry about your bloody shift finishing.
He is responsible for the death
para 5
'a rogue paramedic'
It's a delay that simply shouldn't have happened
'Category A' status because Mr Asghar's condition was life-threatening.
para 6
instead of heading straight to North Tees Hospital
Leaving the patient in the back of the ambulance
para 7
detour lengthened the journey to the hospital
condition had deteriorated
He died a short time later from a heart attack
delay was reported by the new driver
para 8
I was not aware of any delay.'
para 9
incident was immediately reported to us
as soon as we were notified, we acted, 'We appointed - listing
'There was an avoidable delay
para 10
It simply should never have happened
this has come totally out of the blue
we expect the crew to follow through and deliver the patient to hospital without any delays
'Patient care is our number one priority
Language - diction
simple and highly descriptive
His diversion added half a mile to the journey and meant precious minutes that could have been vital in saving his patient's life were lost.
Syntax
not too complicated
His diversion added half a mile to the journey and meant precious minutes that could have been vital in saving his patient's life were lost.
Audience
- suburban
- fearful
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